An Irish Anecdote

‘Twas an evening in November,
As I very well remember,
I was strolling down the street in drunken pride,
But my knees were all a-flutter,
So I landed in the gutter,
And a pig came up and lay down by my side.

Yes, I lay there in the gutter,
Thinking thoughts I could not utter,
When a colleen passing by did softly say:
“Ye can tell a man that boozes
By the company he chooses.”
At that the pig got up and walked away!                          Anon

Some fellow walking by
Left a footprint on my tie,
Still I lay there thinking thoughts I could not speak
Two guards came passing by a
nd shoved me in a Black Maria
They told me soon I’d go before the Beak

The beak, he did complain
When I started to explain,
Said he saw a dozen like me every week
“You’ll reform, I hope, God Willing –
Pay the fine of forty shilling”
And I thought a lot more thoughts I dared not speak!                       Crabfoot